What I've Learned

As this pregnancy comes to an end (soon I hope), I've been thinking about what I've learned from this experience.   A few obvious things come to mind and I thought I'd share them.  If nothing else, blogging will keep my busy for awhile and get my mind off the fact that this baby isn't ready to arrive yet.

1. God is real.

This isn't something new that pregnancy has taught me, but being pregnant has made me much more aware of how involved God is in the tiny details of life.  I don't understand how a woman could go through nine months of watching and feeling her body change and create a tiny human all on its own and NOT believe in a Creator.  How does one cell divide itself millions of times and not duplicate itself, but split into entirely separate cells from the one it started out as?  How does that one cell know when to split into the building block for a lung, a foot, a taste bud?  When our baby was smaller than a blueberry I was already able to hear her fluttering heartbeat.  Life is such a miracle and in many ways a complete mystery to science.  It shouldn't work, but it does.  Everything in my body was designed exactly to adjust and support and grow someone else.  None of this is by my doing.  No matter how much we try to control, plan, and manipulate the circumstances in our life... when it comes down to the big things like birth and death, God is in control and we'd be wise to let Him in to control the little things in our life too instead of thinking we know what's best.

2.  Moms are amazing.

I love my Mom... but I don't think I've ever appreciated her as much as I do now that I am becoming a mother myself.  This awe for the selfless ways moms everywhere put their children above all their own needs and wants will surely only continue over the coming weeks, months, and years as I start to see things from a new perspective.  Pregnancy in and of itself is one big sacrifice, and not just a physical one even though that is the most obvious.  Apart from letting your baby invade your body and routing all your resources and energy to support it, your mind becomes consumed with the baby as well.  Decisions aren't made anymore based solely on what you want, suddenly you think of everything in terms of how it will effect your child.  

My mom, fall of 1982, letting Claudia say "hi" to her little sister

3 days before I was born

There have been some times here at the end where I wonder how completely different my life will be once the baby arrives.  How it will never be just me and Matt anymore, how even when our baby grows up and moves on she will still be part of my thoughts and purpose in life.  My entire identity will change in an instant, I'll always be someone's Mom from here on out... and looking around at all the wonderful mothers I know in my life I can't wait to be part of that club.  It used to sound scary to think of someone being completely dependent on me for everything, but now that it's about to happen I realize what an incredible gift that is.  She won't always need me for everything, and I've been told to enjoy it while she does.

Spring 1983, Claudia gets to snuggle me on the outside

3. It helps to have a great husband.

I wouldn't want to do this alone, and I'm so glad I don't have to (see item # 2 on the list and double the respect I have for those moms out there who gracefully do it all).  I think you need someone to whine to and complain to, someone you can partly blame for your predicament on the rough days.  From late night runs to CVS to buy me a Neti Pot, to putting socks on my feet in the morning,  to always saying the right encouraging or supportive thing....Matt has been great.

Sometimes I get frustrated by all the things I can't do easily anymore, but luckily I have someone who is happy to do them for me.

                         

4.  People say stupid things.

Like items 1, 2, and 3 on this list, I already knew this one but continue to be bewildered at times by the comments and questions from others.  What is it about pregnancy that makes complete strangers and everyone else in your life think it's OK to say things about topics that are ordinarily considered taboo and highly personal (like a woman's weight, age, sex life, beauty, and medical history)?  Here's a list I found on Pinterest: 

I've been told I look "puffy" (I do, but I don't like it when people point it out), asked if I was sure it wasn't twins (this is a popular one), that thirty is too old to be having my first child (what? The average age for first time moms has been steadily rising since 1970 and is now close to 30) and been given buckets full of unsolicited advice about labor, delivery, and how to take care of a newborn (if I didn't ask for it, I don't want it).  The kicker is that I think deep down all these people "mean well" and are just trying to express an interest in my pregnancy... but they should really use more common sense.  And yes, I'm well aware that this will only continue and likely get worse once I step out into the world with my baby and everyone has something to say about her... good thing I've had nine months of practice in getting thick skin and ignoring everyone.

5.  Some things are worth splurging on.

I hate spending money on items I know will only be used for a short time... but there are some things that have made this pregnancy much more enjoyable and therefore worth every penny.  This list will look different for every mama, but for me, I've loved my Snoogle, Belly Band, Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter, and Old Navy maternity yoga pants.  If it makes your life easier or comfier, who cares if it isn't useful for very long?  (Honorable mentions for products that have been lifesavers include Tums, Luna protein bars, compression socks, and 'bath sheet' sized towels.)

That wraps up my list of lessons learned and truths reinforced during my pregnancy.  I'll leave you with a a glimpse of what I feel like these days:

Me, circa 1992, foreshadowing how I'd look at the end of 2012.